Kyrgyzstan Map

Kyrgyzstan Map

WAITING FOR NOODLE

Lilypie Waiting to adopt Ticker

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Bittersweet

Before I send another sweet word... Before I attach another beautiful photo.. Before I share another moment of miraculous activity with our new son here in Moscow... I must take this moment to write to my little girl. For the only reason I am here is because Shelby is not home. That is so sad. Sad that it has been two years of waiting. Angry sometimes that it has been two years of waiting. Two years of all the miraculous firsts that Kolya is experiencing should already have happened for Shelby. The first time drinking from a sippy cup at 20 months, the first time in a swimming pool, the first time falling asleep in your mother's arms. And then waking up to your mother waiting to hold you. For awhile I was patient. For awhile I was not angry. And I sure do know that there is a reason for the Kyrgyz delays. For without them I would never have even thought to start a journey to Russia. My heart is elated with the fact that I have a beautiful baby boy. The discoveries at every moment of every day are breathtaking. But a very very large part of my heart still lies in Kyrgyzstan. In an orphanage behind cold walls is our little girl. Still going to bed alone every night, still waking up alone every morning. I have watched the morphing of a stolid child to a happy happy little boy over the course of just a few days. And can't help but think how unfair it is that Shelby is being deprived of the same experience.
So Tonight to my Little Girl..

Dearest Docha
I love you more then anything. My heart is waiting for you. My arms are waiting to hold you and your baby brother every night until you fall asleep and wake in the morning to my waiting arms as you wipe the night's sleep from your eyes. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and also thank you. For without my experience, without our wait, you would not have a baby brother who will be at home waiting for you. Little Noodle we are trying. We are doing everything we can think of. Stay strong. And even though you may be alone... You are not alone. You are surrounded by a family who eagerly waits, friends who pray every night that one day soon you will be allowed to come home. Hugs and Kisses.. Mommy, Daddy, and Kolya

2 comments:

Schlef Family said...

Oh Ann, I know how you feel. May they all come home soon.

Pamela said...

Gosh, Ann. This is EXACTLY the way I feel about Bermet (Addison) and Emerson. You articulated it perfectly. Crazy weird that baby #2 comes home before baby #1 for so many of us.

XOXO